Having it All

I read and interesting article in Parenting Magazine this morning and it really got me thinking about the last year and everything that can change in a heartbeat.

When I got pregnant last February I thought it was going to be easy. I thought I would have the normal morning sickness, but then I would get the cravings and the pregnancy glow and have an 8 lb baby and I would have it all!

What does having it all really mean anyways?

I started getting sick 4 or 5 times a day starting at week 4 of the pregnancy. Once I got to week 20 and we found out we were going to have a little boy, we hoped the sickness would go away. I told my husband I would love just to feel nauseous in the morning or even at night and be able to eat just crackers. But, I was sick all day and no food nor drink would make it better. I was on 3 different medications and I had seen a specialist. My daily diet consisted of pediasure and pedialyte. I was hospitalized 3 times for dehydration during my pregnancy. I had a condition called Hyperemesis Gravidarum, which unfortunately lasted all 9 months.

We had to cancel our trip to France because I was unable to get on an airplane. Despite feeling horrible, I continued to work each day during my pregnancy. I would get sick at my desk, at my car, in the bathroom, everywhere and then I would pull myself together and keep going. It was not easy on my husband or my friends and family. I can't tell you how many times people told me to eat some crackers, have some ginger, and drink water. Of course I tried everything! Ginger, walks, tea, crackers, water, lemonade, Kool-Aid, nausea bands... the list goes on. It was something we really weren't prepared for. In total during my pregnancy I lost about 12 to 15 pounds. I had lost a total of 38 lbs. by the time by baby turned 2 months.

I was induced at 40 weeks after realizing this sickness wasn't going to stop until he was out and he wasn't going to grow unless he was out. I no longer got sick after the night he was born. It was a miracle. I was definitely weak and tired, but I would gain my strength back. Our baby was a healthy 5 lb. 14 oz. baby boy, despite having his cord wrapped around his neck three times. The pediatrician calls him amazing and a true champ. He is perfect! He is our miracle baby!


I took 2 months of maternity leave and then 2 weeks of unpaid leave to recover from a traumatic birth and to spend time with my son. I went back to work and on the same day I found out I was being let go due to the firm's change in finances. Again, this was not what we expected at all. But, I am using my new strength and looking for bigger and better things.

Life isn't what you always expect. It can throw you curveballs. Life really isn't about having it all. I would not change anything about the last year. My husband and I have made it through and no we have the biggest reward of all. Our son! He is already ahead on development and growth and we couldn't ask for anything more. He smiles at us and makes us laugh. We enjoy each and every moment with him.... even at 2 am and 4 am when he wakes us up. A not so perfect pregnancy, delivery, and return to work led us to a new realization on having it all. It might not be perfect, but we really do have it all, just not the same meaning we thought of before. We have it all and so much more! The three of us together (and our dog molly of course) can conquer the world.

What does having it all mean to you?